Pook's Mill

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Pook and the Infinite Monkey Theorum!!!

One of the best rules I ever learned was: "Never argue with an idiot. After a while, people will no longer be able to tell the difference."

What amazes me is how message forums continually erupt with the stupidest arguements ever known. Usually, these 'debates' revolve around politics or religion or even sexuality. What amazes me is why anyone would spend that much time to say so little. You know no one is ever persuaded. You could spend that time instead to read a book or something and truly get better educated than with most of these 'Internet debates'. If you were a scholar debating through newspapers or distinguished forums, that might make sense. But unknown Internet users debating? Heaven help us!

But, however, I now smile when I come across a forum or thread stuffed with hundreds of pages of pure junk arguing (and try spreading this word around.) Yes, friends, it is the Infinite Monkey Theorum! There have been many mathematical simulations done. Even an Internet simulation.

"But Pook!" you say. "What does the Infinite Monkey Theorum have to do with the digital garbage of message boards and forums?" Foolish mortal! Humanity has debunked the theorum unintentionally:

"It was said that if you locked enough monkeys into a room with typewriters, they would eventually type out the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we know this not to be true."

No one suspected all those monkeys banging away at typewriters would be us!

Ahh, friends, now you can enjoy the weekend with ease. When curious people ask why you have a chipper step, you can stand tall and proudly declare: "We have debunked the Infinite Monkey Theorum!! The monkeys and their typewriters have been thwarted! The era of peace and understanding is at hand!"

And what can they say to that!